I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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