Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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