Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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