Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
