Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Ladies don't puke and tell
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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