Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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