You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
