I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Randomize
