I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
