Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Come share oat with me in your robe
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
