out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize