just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
