there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
