Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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