Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
