I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
