Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
