Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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