I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
