That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
