i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
