i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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