I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
one might say we're banned from that church
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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