You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
