Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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