The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
