oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize