hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize