She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
