Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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