I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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