Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
