He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
