I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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