Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
