I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
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