I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
