So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
