Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
