I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
