one two three fourrrrnication!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
