just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
