You're completely useless in the revolution.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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