your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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