Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
