Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Randomize