But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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