I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
