You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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