I'm pants shitting drunk right now
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Dicks are not precious.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize