Whod you bang
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
