well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
