Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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