Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
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