You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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