her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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