she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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