Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
