I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
return my video game
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
