So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
