Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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