He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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