Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Can I color on your dick again?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize