i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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