I don't think brook has ever known best
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
