I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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